


Sudden Realizations

by BlackSkyandRoses



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cullen realizes he has feelings, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Feelings, Haven, Kinda agnsty but it all works out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 07:43:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6896056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackSkyandRoses/pseuds/BlackSkyandRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a tumblr prompt - What was the moment Cullen realized he had feelings for the inquisitor? </p>
<p>Haven is being attacked, and the Herald has decided she will stop the threat by any means necessary to get her people out of Haven safely. Cullen watches her go, and realizes that he's in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sudden Realizations

“It’s me he wants. If I go out there, I can distract him while you and Chancellor Roderick lead everyone to safety”

Her words were final. The Herald stood there, resolute in her decision. Cullen’s heart lurched and his stomach dropped. There was no way she would survive this. It was a suicide mission, but she was right. It was their best chance at getting the most people out alive. She looked over at the people gathered. 

“Bull, Cassandra, Dorian. Will you -” 

“Absolutely Boss.” Bull rumbled, before she could even get the words out. The others nodded their assent and they headed towards the door. Before he even realized it, Cullen was calling after her. 

“Maybe you’ll find a way to surprise it, find a way…” 

Saragra turned and smiled at him. Her head was raised in defiance, the steel he’d known was deep within her coming out. But her eyes were sad, and he knew she didn’t believe she was going to make it out. 

“Perhaps we will. Take care, Cullen. Get them all out.” 

With that, she unhooked her staff from her back and strode out the door, defiant and willing to defend her people to the end. When the doors slammed shut behind her, Cullen felt an ache in his chest and realized in that moment that he loved her. He hadn’t felt anything like that since his days in Kinloch hold. He’d been a fool, and never realized that he’d fallen in love with the elf, and now it was too late to do anything. 

“We need to hurry. Roderick is going to die, and he needs to show us the path.” The strange boy had appeared at his side, supporting the wounded Chancellor. Cullen slipped an arm around Roderick and walked away from Haven, even as every ounce of him screamed that he should be walking in the opposite direction, to die with his sword in hand defending the people of Haven. 

 

He had denied his feelings for a long time, hoping if he refused to acknowledge them, they would fade away. A temporary infatuation, he told himself. A mix of the uncertainty of war and of her admirable determination to do what was best for the people. The first time he’d ever seen the Herald is when she had burst onto the battlefield with Cassandra, staff drawn and eyes blazing. She’d immediately thrown up a barrier over his men and attacked the demons with a ferocity that impressed him. Her fighting style was not that of the circle mages, but rather what he assumed was the style of the Dalish apostates. But that didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that she fought well, and she kept a particular focus on defensive maneuvers, keeping barriers up over her allies as much as she could. After she had closed the rift, he had gotten his first good look at the survivor of the explosion, the prisoner no longer. Leliana had sent word that she was coming willingly to do what she could to help close the rifts, which went a small way towards assuaging his fears and doubts about her. She was slight, as most of the elves were. Her black hair was pulled back from her face and piled in a tight bun. Effective for keeping it from becoming a hindrance during combat. Her eyes were a striking deep shade of green, and she had the vallaslin of her people lightly etched onto her face. He had realized he was staring without saying anything, and cleared his throat.

 

“I hope you’re worth it. We’ve lost a lot of people getting you here” he remembered saying to her, attempting to hide his fears underneath a layer of sternness and distance. He remembered the flicker of fear that had been visible in her eyes before she dropped them, looking down at the ground. 

“I hope so too. I’ll do my best” she had replied. 

 

Cullen hadn’t even bothered to ask her name. He’d left her, Cassandra, and the others to meet Leliana at the Temple of Sacred Ashes while he tended to his men and readied them for the next bout of fighting. The next time he’d seen her, she was practically being carried back into the camp at Haven after closing the rift. He remembered how small and how pale she’d looked slung over Cassandra’s shoulder, with Solas and Varric trailing behind them.  

 

When she awoke, they were formally introduced at the war table by Cassandra. At this point it was obvious she was going to be central to the inquisition’s plans, and so Cullen made an effort to be friendly towards the wayward elf. As the Inquisition grew, however, so did his respect for her. Saragra had turned out to be fiercely devoted to ending the war between the Mages and the Templars and restoring peace. She was courageous, loyal, and cared deeply for the people they had sworn to protect. Though she cared little for the chantry (and, a part of him reasoned, why should she? The chantry had done nothing for the Dalish for centuries.), she was willing to use her role as the proclaimed Herald of Andraste and ally with the chantry with the goal of restoring peace and helping the common people. And so he, as the commander of the Inquisition’s forces, respected her, the Herald of Andraste. 

 

And yet, he wanted to know more about her. He realized that he also liked Saragra, the Dalish elf. She was a mage, and technically she was an apostate. But she was also clever, sarcastic, and curious. She managed to charm almost everyone she met, and he often suspected she would attempt to bulldoze the ones she couldn’t charm if the ambassador would let her. Cullen found himself making excuses to come and see her, to talk to her, and be near her. He continued to learn more about her. He learned that the vallaslin she wore was dedicated to a specific goddess within the elven pantheon. Ghilan’nain, she’d said. He’d intended to ask her more but had been called away before he had the chance. He also learned that she had been the first of her clan, the one who would have eventually become the Keeper, had fate not taken its course. She somehow always managed to smell lightly of flowers, which he hadn’t learned until much later was because she had some dried flowers tucked into her armour or secreted away in her hair. 

 

All of this he knew, but he wanted to know more. At first he thought it was merely to get to know her as he knew Cassandra, Josephine, and even Leliana, as much as one  _ could  _ know the spymaster. But now, watching the doors slam shut behind her, Cullen realized that he wanted to know so much more than he’d thought. He wanted to know what she looked like when she slept, what she looked like when she thought nobody was watching. What her favourite foods were. What she looked like with her hair down, or what her life had been like before fate had thrown her into the inquisition. He wanted to know everything about her, and most of all he wanted to know what it would be like to kiss her. To wrap his arms around his waist and kiss her firmly. He wanted to know what sound she would make, if her lips were as soft as they looked. What her skin would feel like under his fingertips.

With an effort, Cullen wrenched his thoughts away from the Herald and focused on evacuating Haven. If she was going to do this, he was going to make damn sure as many people got out as possible. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours had passed. The Herald had triggered an avalanche, burying Haven in the snow. The advisors had gotten almost everyone out, and they were organizing a search party. 

“We have to find her!” he barked at his recruits. “Fan out, keep together, and bring plenty of torches! You know the signal should you find her!” 

Without waiting for Cassandra to catch up, he headed out into the blinding snowstorm. 

 

Saragra wasn’t sure how much further she could keep going. She’d survived Corypheus, survived the avalanche she caused and somehow had found her way to Haven. Or. What she thought might be Haven. For all she knew, she could be heading the complete opposite direction of where she wanted to go. Her mana was exhausted, and she could hear wolves howling. She shivered, though with fear or cold she could no longer tell. She had never been this cold, this exhausted, this lost before. Her legs gave out on her, and she toppled into the snow. With an effort, she pushed herself up, using her staff for support. It took a lot more effort and a lot longer than the last time she’d fallen. It was doubtful if she would be able to get up again. 

Howling, closer this time. 

After a few more minutes, Saragra swayed and felt her knees buckle. Her vision blurred, and the world tilted dangerously to the left. She didn’t even know if she was still standing anymore. Just as her body completely gave out, she heard a shout rising over the wind. 

“There! It’s her!” 

Saragra pitched forward, but instead of landing in the snow, she crashed into something solid. Solid and cold. Metal? She felt an arm slip around her waist, and she forced her eyes open. It was Cullen. He was kneeling in the snow and she belatedly realized that he’d caught her. The cold metal she’d felt was his armour. 

“You found me.” Saragra couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t going to die after all. She might actually make it through this. “You came back for me.” 

Cullen shrugged off his cloak and wrapped it around her. His heart was pounding in his chest - she was very, very close to death, and he didn’t think she realized it. He looked over at Cassandra. 

“We need to get her to camp. Send word that we need fire, and healers, and as many blankets as we can spare.” 

Cullen picked up Saragra, wrapping her up as best as he could. She was so light in his arms, lighter than he’d realized. She had no bulky armour to add to her weight and she was slight to begin with. He slung her staff over his back and headed down the mountainside. She was unconscious, but he spoke aloud to her anyway. 

“I will always come back for you. I promise.”


End file.
